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The Adversity Advantage with Doug Bopst


Jun 30, 2020

Sara Kubric: Saving Millennials through Modern Therapy Techniques.  

I’m honoured to host Sara Kuburic as the guest on our show today.

Sara is a Canadian certified counsellor and a trauma informed clinician. She has a person-centred approach that’s grounded in existential analysis as well as semantic and experiential techniques.

She specializes in areas of trauma & abuse, identity relationships with self & others, life transitions, and anxiety.

The Millennial Therapist: Sara’s unique and modern approach to healing.

When starting out as a young clinician or student in grad school, you’re presented with a diverse range of therapeutic modalities. This can tend to be overwhelming when making your selection.

Sara decided to pick a modality that resonates with her personality and character. Based on this criterion, Sara involves her clients in open, honest and genuine conversations with her patients, all of which leads to an effective growth and healing journey.

Having initially started off with Neuroscience, Sara found herself switching to an existential approach after stumbling across a patient whose treatment involved performing an existential analysis.

 

Sara’s modern approach to Psychotherapy

In today’s society, instant gratification has led to the striving and application of quick solutions and coping mechanisms to deal with our problems.

That is why so many therapists also pick modalities that cater for quick results, and end up ignoring the deep-rooted issues that need to be solved. In contrast to this, Sarah preaches for and practices awareness and honesty as an effective therapy strategy.

Growth is sometimes characterised by pain and discomfort, and so it’s counterproductive when so many modern therapists try to make their clients feel as comfortable as they can throughout the entire therapy session. This only serves to limit their growth.

 

People pleasing.

Having grown to be such a big cultural aspect of our society, people pleasing is an attribute that’s been happening for ages.  

Sara describes pleasing people as the act of trying to get the approval of other people, regardless of the sacrifice that you have to make in order to accomplish your goal.

As a society, we tend to applaud people for placing other people’s needs before their own and criticize the ones that put themselves first.  Self-care is now seen as being selfish.

Essentially, the things that we yearn to do in order to gain other people’s approval are things that we can’t always, but partially offer ourselves.

 

Gaslighting.

Being aware that you’re a victim of gaslighting is an incredibly difficult feat.

Gas lighting is a relationship phenomenon characterised by toxic manipulation of the victim. It’s so complex to an extent that the victim has a really hard time to connect to themselves and reality.

It’s psychological abuse, that leads to the victim going through detrimental suffering, and more often than not, isolating themselves from everyone too.

 

Setting healthy boundaries.

Unlike the popular belief in so many cultures, setting boundaries with your friends and family, is not an ultimatum or control mechanism. Rather, it’s a request to other people to be more empathetic while still protecting our needs, and nurturing our connection with other people.

Boundaries are different for everyone and we should feel confident when setting them. Never be afraid to give your honest thoughts and opinions about how other people’s actions, behaviours, and opinions impact us.

Inner child.

The concept defines re-enactments that we do as adults in relation to our childhood experiences. These acts are triggered by needs that were never fulfilled when you were growing up as a kid. Inner child can sometimes manifest in the form of tantrums.

So, whilst we try to fulfil these needs in our adult life, we do so without realizing that we’re doing so in an unproductive or harmful way.

Sometimes there’s the beautiful inner child. This is where our intuition, creativity, and playfulness stems from.

Thus, as much as the inner child can be harmful, we can learn how to decipher between the productive and unproductive inner child for a happier life.

 

The Shame tagged with seeking therapy

Unlike being able to spot a physiological defect within your body such as a broken arm, it’s difficult to pinpoint what you lack when it comes to therapy. So, most people end up concluding that they’re broken. And this induces a lot of shame.

To change this mentality, we can accept our flaws and own the fact that we need help, this way, we flip the conversation from therapy to self-growth and development.

Be sure to tune into the show, and grow from insights provided by Sara Kuburic, including how you can use fitness & nutrition as guidelines for a healthy mind, and why humour is one of the best tools to calm a troubled mind.

 

Connect with Sara Kuburic

Website - https://www.sara-kuburic.com/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/sarakuburic/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/millennial.therapist

 

Connect with Doug

Instagram: @dougbopst

Facebook: Doug Bopst

Website: www.dougbopst.com/gift

 

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